things i say to my dog

- That Children’s Python cruisin to say waddup, that’s Dylan. He bites.
- That is also the molting of some random tarantula. When they molt, they shed their exo-skeleton. This process can take from 15 minutes to several hours.
- That grey bird, that’s jihad the African ring-necked parrot. She’s aight. -

you can vsco cam my balls

take me back
to where I was before I was born
it’s life; sweet and dreamless sleep

it sounds like heaven to me


Eddy, a Southern Three-banded Armadillo (Tolypeutes matacus), from South America, rolls up into a ball as it is shown to visitors for the first time since its birth on 26 September at the Bergzoo in Halle, Germany… then unrolls.

Photograph: Imago/Barcroft Media

(via: Guardian UK)


of all of the sea to
swim in, I only swim in
the shallow water

A note to the over enthusiastic Christian.

Use your pretty little sentences, the jots and tittles of your i’s and j’s are hearts or butterflies, and you’re period marks are huge, because your statements about the mundane escapades of god are fuckin epic. how thankful are you?
very thankful. and that’s cool, you should be.
you have a life in Christ. that’s great. But it would be more beneficial to us all if you kept it to yourself.
I often think it should be a sin to over glorify your relationship with god.
Don’t you ever buy a really nice pair of shoes and keep them suckers in your closet?
Just for the sake of keeping them there until there’s favorable conditions to wear them. Like, bust them puppies out when you go on a date, or to a wedding. Or some shit.
If you’re gonna go out everyday and be like “Ey look at my shoes! Fuckin sick right? Got them super cheap!” Everyone at first is like “Hey I like you’re shoes”(they actually might be shittin you, cause they wanna come off nice but they really don’t like them), and after a while your rad shoes you were gonna keep in your closet are not that rad anymore.
And all of a sudden you start slipping, and people who have read your Facebook posts and your fancy long blog posts are kinda relieved you calmed the fuck down, they aren’t wondering what happened, they don’t think “oh you you’ve really gotten a hold on yourself that’s good.” I often am like “wow you stopped orgasming after praying”.
that’s all you’re really doing, is emotionally orgasming, God is jizzing all over you and your thoughts.
I’ve been to bible college, I’ve experienced that heightened sense of emotion in the room. I’ve blogged about my relationship with god.
And I often think to myself that I shoulda kept it on the down low.

Cause when you slip, you’re really slipping, compared to how ‘perfect everything was in Christ’ yesterday.

Keep it on the down low. No one is gonna reward you for praying while your typing some shit on Facebook. Keep that shit to yourself.

Religion is a great thing when it’s just you and your belief.

Also, if you really love your friends, tell them personally, at church, in your kitchen, in the backyard, at the beach (where god is especially graceful), and within hugging proximity(because hugs are nice right? Especially on instagram that shit would look cool with a really long caption explaining how you feel; really a simple hug can just say those words for you).

BE THERE IN PERSON for your friends.

there is more to say. but this is all for now.